


What a Beautiful Illusion of Control

by chat_rouge



Category: Legacies (TV 2018), The Originals (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Probably more Mikaelson Fam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26486530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chat_rouge/pseuds/chat_rouge
Summary: Before she had just prepared a black magic death curse, now she agrees with Dr. Saltzman. Why risk dark magic on him when she can tear him apart with her teeth?What started as chasing down two teenage boys for stealing a knife, ended with her tackling Ryan Clarke into Malivore as she heard Caroline scream.OrHope escapes Malivore with the help of her family, tries to find her place in the world and Josie's life again, and do it all without the control that she had worked to build, that kept her from becoming like her father, that she apparently lost in Malivore.
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson & Alaric Saltzman, Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 76
Kudos: 218





	1. The Beginning

It should be so easy to hate Landon.

Everything in her life had finally plateaued before he showed up.

Even the dance they shared before everything was tainted by her father’s and uncle’s deaths, by the pain of her first turn and the guilt of the kill.

He had played her like Roman, she opened herself up again for the first time in years and fell for the same trick. Then he had the audacity to run away and ask for forgiveness, and not even to her face. Only to run away with the knife again just a few days after the twin’s birthday.

She should’ve hated Roman too.

She was a Mikaelson hate should come easily.

It came as naturally as breathing to everyone else in her family including her mother.

Instead she just wants to kill him. 

At least she inherited that.

Before she had just prepared a black magic death curse, now she agrees with Dr. Saltzman. Why risk dark magic on him when she can tear him apart with her teeth?

What started as chasing down two teenage boys for stealing a knife, ended with her tackling Ryan Clarke into Malivore as she heard Caroline scream.

All she had wanted to do was save Dr. Saltzman. Lizzie’s comment about him taking a knife for her echoed in her thoughts, Josie’s face appeared in her mind, and her own pain from her father’s death had prompted her to take a running head start at Clarke pushing them both over the railing. 

Obviously it wasn’t her best idea, but she was also running two other brands of magic at the same time in the middle of a battle of monsters and wills.

It turned out fine.

Malivore wasn’t so bad. Other than the unending darkness, the lack of sensations, and the feeling of her sanity slipping away. 

It wasn’t fine.

She was actually surprised how well adjusted the monster that came out of Malivore were. There was no sense of time and just darkness, and while she would never tell him, without Clarke she might’ve lost her last vestiges of sanity.

She wasn’t fine.

Although to be fair. Without him, she would have escaped Malivore a lot faster. It didn’t want her. 

Ultimately that was how Freya and Davina pulled her out. It took them five months, but they also managed to restore the memories everyone had of her.

Months in Malivore because Landon had no self control. 

Five months with only Clarke and an occasional monster for company. Five months without food, water or air. Trapped in a magical hell spent listening to daddy issues of an immortal.

Sadly, Clarke managed to get pulled out along with her as a magical stowaway.

Maybe she should kill Landon and Clarke. Save everyone the trouble of dealing with the smug bastard that lived in their dungeon and will inevitably escape. 

And it turns out, according to Clarke, Landon is a phoenix anyway, whatever that means, so if she kills him, he’ll either come back to life like nothing happened, or Malivore won’t be able to rise and they are safe from a great evil.

It was her father’s voice in her head. Just casual suggestions, pushing her towards where her natural instincts were screaming.

What would a Mikaelson do?

He had called her broken, if only he could see her now.

The Hollow was so much more persuasive, the whispers were so much louder. But it turns out when it’s her own unadulterated emotions, it’s so much harder to fight.

She tried to focus on water in the lake, the lapping sound it made against the dock. The flow of magic in the land surrounding. The smell of freshly cut grass and some flowery scents from the garden mixed with freshwater.

Not whatever signals Landon was giving out.

“And I know you’re angry at me Hope, I get it-” Landon was saying.

The venom from her fangs burned on her tongue and she could feel the wood start to splinter beneath her fingers on the dock.

She forcibly kept her head down and her hair curtaining her face. But her eyes were squeezed shut just in case.

“-should start again from the beginning.”

How was he still talking? Did he have no survival instincts?

She had managed to avoid him since she had got back, which was really only a week and a half. Her family took her home for a month even though it was the start of the school year.

No one argued or complained, and as for her classes went, she was ahead anyway.

But still an entire 9 days of dodging a person desperately trying to connect with you, she managed to avoid the dining area and common rooms entirely just so she doesn’t hurt Landon in a fit of rage.

Or Raphael.

But mostly Landon.

Now she was wondering if she should just kill him and be done with it.

Hadn’t he gotten the hint yet?

When she had the Hollow inside her, her father encouraged her to hurt those unhurtable. To kill those who deserved. 

Was Landon not both?

There were just blood and splinters in her fists and she tried to focus on the sound of the water.

“Landon I’m sorry to interrupt your conversation but I really need to speak with Hope, it’s a bit of an emergency.” Dr. Saltzman’s voice said. He smelled of worry, concern, and a little more than a slight bit of fear. She could feel his tenseness. 

On the other hand Landon started radiating disappointment and unease, but he started to stand, though not without rambling, “Yeah, ok. Um thanks for giving me a chance to talk Hope, um I really hope we can finish this conversation later, umm, only if you want of course-”

Hope wondered if Dr. Saltzman would forgive her for ripping Landon’s heart out.

“Landon, please,” Dr. Saltzman interrupted.

“Right.” 

She felt Landon’s rapid steps down dock. Once he hit the grass she started to slowly relax.

The dock creaked as Dr. Saltzman sat down.

“I’m going to be honest, I’m not in the shape to handle an emergency unless it’s a monster that needs killing away from the school,” she admitted. 

Her fangs and claws had started retracting and her hands had healed, but she wasn’t sure if her eyes were still yellow or had gone back to blue.

“Yeah, the emergency was that I was afraid you might blow Landon or the lake up,” she looked up slowly, happy to see her vision was normal human vision and while she could sense his worry she couldn’t smell it anymore. She braced herself for a lecture on losing control and hiding this new symptom from her family, “The entire surface of the lake was vibrating. I’m no biologist, but I don’t think that’s good for the fish. Although it did look cool.”

Hope let out a relieved laugh and a small smile. 

He didn’t notice her wolfing out or the blood thirst.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was doing that. I’ve just been feeling so…”

She waved her hands in the air and let them drop.

Dr. Saltzman put an arm around her and pulled her closer.

“I know.”

She honestly felt like she might cry.

“Ever since Malivore I’ve been so…”

She squeezed her eyes to prevent the tears from escaping.

“I know.”


	2. Monsters, Spiders and Otherwise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The arachnid comes out.

Normally, when Hope painted, it was always realism, traditional too, maybe if she was feeling particularly adventurous she delved into surrealism, but it was done with purpose, there was a design, and every stroke of her brush was deliberate in leading her there.

Once, a few months before she kidnapped her own mother, she had decided to take a brush and just splash paint over a canvas, just to see where it takes her.

Her father favored the impressionists.

There were hundreds of his works, some finished, some not, some even half burned, many of which were pure emotion. Wild brush strokes along with wild thoughts. He would even incorporate the blood of enemies and victims into portraits and pictures.

That one time she saw one of her father’s work and tried smearing paint across the canvas. It felt shameful and wrong, and although literally no one would care, she burned the thing in the cover of night.

But right now, standing in the woods, wildly smearing oils on the canvas, the beautiful vista of the school forgotten, she doesn’t feel shame, just raw.

Maybe there was anger, maybe there was sadness, but mostly she felt exposed and teary, as though someone had peeled her skin off and she was trying to brand the emotion on the canvas.

Her father painted with emotion, to strategize, think.

She painted to stop thinking, it was a meditative exercise.

Although she guessed control was the end goal for both of them.

But now her hand shook. She couldn’t make a precise line if she wanted too. But her hand was out of control, inconsistent brush strokes, letting oil drip almost randomly on the canvas, no attention to the charcoal lines she had planned before. And what background? There was a monster she was painting. What control? Magic was literally bleeding into her brush.

It had sharp teeth dripping blood, and wild red and white fur, it’s eyes were blue and gold, like any Malivore monster it was ascending from a brown and black pit, with the dripping tar of Malivore clinging to its flesh and fur. 

The magic blew up her brush sending small pieces of wood flying in all directions. She stepped back to survey the damage.

And took a long look at her painting.

She was the monster she was painting.

She had been painting a self-portrait all along.

She flung the painting into the forest, listening to it hit leaves and branches as it flew.

\------

Two girls had gone missing from Mystic High, Dana and Sasha.

The brand new sheriff had come in to hand out pamphlets and check out the school grounds, as they had gone missing planning to graffiti the school. 

With the barrier they have around the school, she knew they wouldn’t have actually made it into school grounds without being invited. She knew, Dr. Saltzman knew, and even their freshly elected Mayor Donovon knew, but the new sheriff did not.

But it seemed that Dr. Saltzman didn’t mind giving the new Sheriff a tour around the school grounds while she would prepare their tracking dogs to help find the girls.

Or at least that’s what they told the Sheriff.

They had dogs on the grounds, but they were mostly herding dogs. Hope was actually off to find Lizzie and Josie to see if they wanted to help with the tracking spell.

She didn’t think Lizzie cared too, but Josie might want to help, simply because Josie liked being helpful.

Also because Josie was the one who had asked to be more involved in what Hope and her father were doing before Malivore.

Anyway, someone had mentioned they were at the school’s agricultural area.

For all her skills, Hope had never particularly excelled or liked gardening.

Horticulture was important to witchcraft, many spells and potions relied on roots and flowers, often specially grown, and while Hope didn’t mind raising a few plants it was always a bit of a chore.

She would rather buy her ingredients.

Might as well use the Mikaelson fortune for something.

But unlike her, Josie loved the garden.

Even when they were young, Josie seemed to always put extra care in her plants. 

Many times Hope had come by to grab some ingredients and heard Josie whispering encouragement to the plants, praising the ones that grew particularly well and thanking them when cutting leaves, fruits, or flowers off for her bounty. Everyone knew that if you left a dying plant out Josie would nurse it back to health and carefully adopt it into her collection.

Today Josie was rooting through the dirt for something while nodding along to Lizzie who was ranting by the post. It seemed the trip to the gardens was probably unplanned based on the fact Josie was kneeling in her uniform skirt.

For someone who had argued to include pants into the uniform for girls, Josie never took advantage. But Hope also knew that Josie didn’t make the argument for her own sake, but for the sake the female student population in general.

Everyone knew that Josie cared.

Josie and Lizzie didn’t notice her as she walked up to them.

“And I mean come on, it’s not as if it’s a big deal,” Lizzie ranted, she rolled her eyes and scoffed.

Josie seemed to struggle with pulling something out of the ground, “Mmhhmm.”

“Not to mention that bitch Hope.”

That seemed like a good place to jump in, hackles high, but she put on a casual air, “Why not, I feel so left out when you don’t mention bitches like me,” she gave Lizzie an exaggerated frown, “and I thought you were trying to be nicer this semester.”

Lizzie’s eyes went wide and mouth fell open, but she quickly closed it trying to recover, “Because you’re unmentionable.”

Hope let out a laugh and rolled her eyes before turning to Josie.

Josie who was sitting flat on her ass leaning on the ground looking up at her with scared doe eyes.

She couldn’t help the smile that broke across her face.

“Hi.” Hope said.

“Hi.” Josie meekly returned.

“Did you just come here to terrorize us with your snappy comebacks and brooding looks or did you need something?” Lizzie asked.

That killed Hope’s good mood.

But Hope was making an effort to be their friend so she gave Lizzie a tight smile and said, “Actually I wanted to know if you guys wanted to help find Dana and Sasha. The Sheriff is taking me over to the school to grab something of theirs and I thought you guys can help set up, or if you just want to stay updated on the situation.”

“That bitch Dana? Pass. She’s probably partying anyway and this is a call for attention, I want to remind you she has a habit of running off.” Lizzie said, “But if it’s a Malivore monster I want to know about it.”

Josie glared at her sister.

“What Lizzie means is despite our differences, we want to help Dana and Sasha, especially if they might be in danger,” Josie went to stand and Hope reached out her hand. Josie seemed to consider something looking at it like it was a new spell she had to decipher. But Hope was patient.

It took a minute but Josie grabbed her hand. It was cool from the soil and Hope can feel the dirt that was getting on hers, but she didn’t mind. 

Even once Josie pulled herself up she lingered for a few seconds, before slowly taking her hand back to brush the dirt off her skirt.

“We’ll set up at the mill, if that works? If not-” but the rest of the sentence was lost on Hope because she saw Landon coming out of greenhouse 4.

That’s right, Josie befriended Landon while she was forgotten.

“You know, I should probably get going while it’s still light out, the Mill is fine, I’ll meet you there.” Hope said, desperate to go.

He was coming this way and she was not in the mood to deal with him.

Both Josie and Lizzie turned to see what Hope saw. Lizzie face had broken out into a grin, but Josie seemed to stutter in her breathing.

Her head jerked back towards Hope as though she wanted to say something, but Hope was already leaving, “I’ll see you guys later.”

But Lizzie caught up her, “From what I remember you don’t have a license, so how are you planning on getting there?”

“I’ll figure it out,” Hope snapped.

“Or I can just drive you.” Lizzie jingled keys in the air.

Hope turned her head a little to give Lizzie a questioning look.

Her mood was killed, but Lizzie’s seemed to shoot up.

“I don’t like the hobbit either and it’s nice to watch you suffer.”

It felt like Lizzie wasn’t telling her something, but… whatever, they had some missing girls to find.

\----

It wasn’t the first time she was in Mystic High, immediately after Malivore she tracked what turned out to be a cyclops here.

At some point she wondered what it was like to be a student at an ordinary school such as this one. 

Now experiencing the smell of the locker room without even a Cyclops or Goblin to blame it she was happy to be going to Salvatore School, at least everything was clean. 

She grabbed Dana’s jersey, and was already holding Sasha’s hat and was ready to go. She was meeting Lizzie by the entrance, something about nothing being seen at enemy headquarters.

Lizzie’s parents made the school, she had a lot of school pride

But just her luck a bunch of guys poured in the room laughing, jeering and throwing things.

Adding to the terrible smell that already permeated the room.

One of, she even recognized. Tall, well built, kind of handsome in the traditional way.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” asked the boy that showed her around the school last time, what was his name, Allen? Eric? “Are you going out for kicker, or are you just stalking me?”

There was definitely a better way to handle it. Especially since the statement came out playful and he was leaning against the lockers in what seemed to be an effort to flirt.

But in her defense she was still on edge from seeing Landon and was in a bad mood in general for the past month.

“Hah,” she gave a fake laugh, “I think it’s clear who’s stalking who here. Besides,” she looked him up and down, “If I went out, wouldn’t it be for QB1.”

She heard the oohs go throughout the room, but didn’t bother to stand around and watch his expression. She had what she was needed and was leaving.

“I’m pretty sure that stuff isn’t yours, Salvator Prep stealing now?” He called.

That made her stop. There was a sound of vibrating metal. The right thing to do was to keep walking, or even just explain she was helping find _their_ missing girls. 

But she had a lot of pent up rage.

“Hope, are you having trouble getting into the lockers? Lizzie mentioned you were in here for a while” The Sheriff appeared in the door before she could decide what spell to whisper, one that would make their crotch itch for an entire month or make them act like monkeys everytime they heard a car horn. Not a killing curse. Not a killing curse. Not a killing curse. For some stupid teenage boys who aren’t even trying to be mean.

Of course Lizzie did.

But before Hope can show her the stuff she grabbed, the Sheriff seemed to notice one of the boys over her shoulder, “Ethan! Is practice over already? How about I give you a ride home?”

That was his name. Ethan.

She heard Ethan say something about having a ride, but she noticed that boy Connor outside in the hallway. The one who’s car she blew up. Standing in the middle of the hallway just staring at her. Something felt wrong.

She closed the door to the locker room and stepped out.

His eyes followed her but he barely moved.

She doesn’t really know what normal human boy behaviour was like, but the hairs on her hands were raised and she definitely could feel something was off.

“Connor?” She stepped a few feet closer.

Something in his mouth started moving and it felt wrong just watching. 

Fangs started protruding from his mouth, but not like werewolf or vampire fangs, like he was throwing up pincers. 

Before she could even start figuring out what that meant his face started to tear.

Remembering the locker room filled with ordinary humans she spelled the handle to break and motioned for a barrier spell as Connor started walking toward her.

“ _Ignis-_ ” She clutched one hand.

It caught fire with a screech and she heard footsteps behind her.

“What is that?” Lizzie screeched.

It crawled out of the body before leaping away.

“You wanted a Malivore monster, well that’s a Malivore monster,” Hope told her, making the quick decision to sprint after it.

“Wait!” Lizzie screamed after her.

They chased it to the old mill, where Hope was throwing spells at it trying to see what was effective and Lizzie was oddly quiet. It turned out Josie, Raphael, and Landon were already there.

Trapped in the webs.

Or at least Landon and Raph were while Josie worked on getting them out. MG had met them at the entrance Hope was going to assume that Lizzie texted him but honestly didn’t have time to think about it, nor what Landon or Raph were even doing there

“Josie come down here and grab my hand, MG can worry about the guys.”

The thing about spells was, they used a certain amount of magic, at least most spells did. Having a lot of magic was like having a lot of ingredients, you only need a certain amount for the cookies, but then you have plenty left over for making cakes, or more cookies, or whatever. But no matter how many ingredients you have, you can only do one batch at a time.

Having another two witches, especially two siphon witches is like adding two ovens, and also giving them her extra ingredients, this way they can do multiple batches.

Or triple the power of the same spell.

Which will make things go so much faster.

“I can?” MG was staring at the spider. But after three seconds of silence from her he looked at her and decided he rather take his chances with the giant spider than with Hope, “I got it Josie.”

Since Hope was able to regulate the magic they were taking to a certain extent, she could do most of the legwork for the spell, they didn’t need to know the particulars.

At least blowing up the spider would feel nice.

Normally people didn’t like it too much when Josie or Lizzie siphoned from them, it could be very painful and dangerous if they took too much, and an unpleasant feeling overall, and she knew Josie and Lizzie were careful about it.

She had enough magic where she actually didn’t notice if just Josie, or just Lizzie, siphoned. Although neither one had siphoned from her since they were children still learning control. Preferring to use objects of friends that sat next to them in class.

But honestly the second Josie grabbed her hand she realized neither of them thought to take less with both of them siphoning. 

And it felt _good_.

Like the buzzing under her skin was seeping away into barely noticeable and a pressure she hadn’t noticed in her head had lifted.

It was all smooth sailing from there.

\----

Considering the most damage they took was a shower she considered it a success.

So Hope dried her hair, happily humming, purposely, cheerfully humming, focusing on her hair and not on Dr. Saltzman giving her the stink eye. 

“You couldn’t have called me at any point?” He finally asked.

“On my imaginary cell phone and say, what, and to get what instructions exactly?” She shot back.

“I don’t know Hope, but maybe I would have told you to keep it away from my daughters, from the rest of the school and the students. Maybe I would’ve had a plan and would’ve shown up to help. Maybe this could have been left to the adults. Maybe we could’ve kept my daughters out of danger”

“Josie was already in danger. The spider was making a nest in the old mill. The monsters are looking for Landon. The school is the danger. And honestly what could have you or Dorian done that would have been better than us” She emphasized, “Besides, if you want me to get along with your daughters, I can’t be keeping secrets from them,” she softened her tone because he looked heartbroken, “they aren’t little girls anymore. We are powerful magical creatures. I knew they could help. Trust me when I say I desperately want to keep them safe. I don’t want Josie or Lizzie hurt. But keeping them safe means teaching them how to protect themselves.”

He fell back against his chair with his hands on his eyes.

“They’re my babies, my little girls. I made this school for them.”

She sat on the bench next to him.

“I know, but isn’t it better for them to be with us when facing danger,” he looked at her, “If we are right besides them in a fight they will _inevitably_ seek out, then we can be there to catch them when they fall.”

He sighed again and leaned against her, “All of you are growing up so fast.”

She leaned back and closed her eyes. There was no buzzing under her skin. Just a deep sense of calm. A little hunger from all the running and magic she did, especially since both the twins siphoned a bunch for an unfamiliar spell. 

Dr. Saltzman just sighs into his arms, “Tell me you at least have a good cover story for why you locked the Sheriff in the locker room.”

Hope raises her head and smirks, “I didn’t lock anything, a mountain lion lunged at me after I left the room and broke the handle, after it finished tearing Connor to shreds of course, trapping them in the locker room.”

He shook his head, “Of course, it’s a shame this mountain lion had rabies. So we hunted it down and buried it? Or do we leave it in case another monster comes at us?”

She leaned against the wall, “I might be able to make a call about getting a mountain lion corpse. Probably won’t be fresh, but I know a few vamps that use their ‘abilities’ to act as animal control.”

“Ooh, why hadn’t I thought of that?” Dr. Saltzman asked, “Can you pass on their number? Might be useful in the future.”

“No promises, but I’ll try.” She told him.

Enjoying the feeling of being clean she stretched and pulled her robe tighter against herself and leaned her head back against the wall. She should probably go change before she did anything else.

If she focused she could hear Josie softly singing in the shower.

There was a monster attack, two people died.

Yet she was smiling.

Maybe because at the very second the only buzzing she felt was from adrenaline leaving her system. Or the lightness she had felt for the first time in months.

Whatever it was, she felt good. She was going to be ok.

\----

Josie had found it in the woods, the painting. After Lizzie and Hope left. Or in Hope's case, ran away. The boys wanted to go to the mill and help her out, but she needed to pick up some supplies and took a short cut through the woods to the dorm area of the school.

It was a complete mess covered in sticks and mud, and all she could really make out was a mess of red and white beneath it, and also the golden blue eyes. The eyes of a wolf, yet also so human. A werewolf, but not quite. 

She noticed it because it radiated magic. Something warm and familiar, but also chaotic.

It was hard to say how long the painting was out there, since it was a magical object. It could've been something painted yesterday or from the early school days, or even something much older. She didn't know too much about art and she couldn't see much of the painting itself, so it was hard for her to tell.

Both Josie and Lizzie liked to hoard magical objects, the school walls had magic pumping, but only enough for small spells. Taking too much from another student might hurt them. So she told herself she picked it up so she and Lizzie would have something siphon.

She continued to say that too herself as she tried brushing off the dirt and then frantically hiding it under the bed when Lizzie came in.

She then thought, it could be used to make a Christmas gift, or a birthday gift, when Lizzie suspiciously looked at her, and she told Lizzie, "It was nothing, just working on a surprise."

And later when Lizzie was asleep, and she finished flirting with Landon over magic notes, and all she dreamed about was those blue gold eyes and chaotic magic just felt pulsing beneath her mattress, she told herself, she just had an appreciation for art. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I wish they showed Hope painting more in Legacies, and I wish it was explored more why her painting style is so rigorously realistic compared to her father's style. I actually also really like Ethan's character, Maya, and the Sheriff and hope to see more of them in the rest of season 2 and 3. Although I'm not sure if I'm planning on really incorporating them more, I had them as a bigger part of the chapter, but then I felt I was getting off focus. Sorry this took a little while to release. I didn't like a few scenes, but then decided I don't know how to fix it, and honestly I'm more excited about the next chapter. I really like comments and kudos, so let me know what you think, what questions you have, or even critiques.


	3. It was a good day

“I’m ok.” Hope said for what must have been the hundredth time. Groaning as she listened to her Aunt tell her that there was no shame in coming home, asking for help, and taking a break.

She wanted to echo the sentiment right back at her. Between baby Nik, spending months trying to get Hope out of Malivore, and the usual problems that came with being a powerful Mikaelson witch, it sounded like her Aunt Freya needed a vacation.

Or at least a nap. 

But Hope knew better than that, her Aunt had raised her alongside her mother and she knew if she said, “there is no shame in asking for help or taking a break”, the effect would be the exact opposite of what was intended.

Which was one of the reasons she was most definitely not going to come home. As much as she didn’t want nor need her family hovering around her, she doesn’t think her Aunt could take the stress of it anyway. 

Besides Keelin really had enough on her hands at the hospital and with Freya.

And Nik didn’t need her moodily wandering around the house with restless energy. The kid had enough family to screw him up, she wanted to be a good influence.

So Hope assured her Aunt for the last time that she was fine, citing that she needed to get to her classes, which was true, before she was let go.

Other than the extra worrying, she was actually happy. Dr. Saltzman had forbade cell phones from campus, to both keep students focused on their studies and to help keep the supernatural out of social media. Also it really helped sell the school for troubled kids, and normally she would be fine with it.

But she had missed phone calls with her family, especially since her parents died. It made her feel so disconnected. So the exception he made since Aunt Freya had spent three hours yelling at him about the Arachnid, Hope’s mental and physical health, and releasing general frustrations was actually great. 

She had spoken to her family everyday this week and it had gone a long way for her mood.

So she put on a smile on her way to calculus.

Today was going to be a good day.

The classroom was way too bright, it had so many windows and it was causing pain behind her eyes and even the paper felt like it was glowing and reflecting the light.

But ever since Malivore it felt like someone had turned the brightness up on the sun, so she grimaced and got through it.

So many people didn’t get to enjoy the sun, so many vampires spent years yearning for sunlight to touch their skin without killing them. Sunlight was important for plants, for witchcraft, for vitamin D. So she wasn’t even going to let it ruin her good mood.

Besides she answered two questions right in class, and Arthur who managed to be scared of her for 5 years smiled at her today. So she had every reason to be happy.

Even though she couldn’t keep her leg from bouncing and magic leaking into her pencil causing the images to swirl across the page.

But it was fine. 

It was still a good day. It was a good week. Things have calmed down. She facetimed her Aunt yesterday, Marcel the day before, spoke to Kol and Davina at the beginning of the week. There have been no monsters since the Arachnid. No reason to be extra vigilant.

No reason for her to tense every time someone entered a quiet room. 

Or maybe there was reason for her to be extra vigilant? A monster might turn up at any time, that’s why she was so tense, she was just prepared.

The sunlight was driving her crazy but so were the rest of her senses, really.

It was probably because she had been feeling extra restless. The Arachnid had taken the edge off for about a day but it came back, and so what she had never been sensitive to the sun before?

She did have vampire blood.

Avoiding the temptation to do a spell that blackened the windows she just kept her head lower and kept it turned the other way.

Which was a good thing because otherwise she would’ve missed the passing Josie who gave her a smile. 

She felt herself relax a little and she smiled back. It was the end of the interaction because Josie kept walking the other way probably to make her class, but she kept looking at Josie, because…

Well because it made her happy to see her friend, who actually smiled at her, and it was a good day.

She knew it was probably just Josie being polite, but most people didn’t smile at her in the school.

It took her a second to realize she wasn’t the only person watching Josie. So was one of the werewolves. Except he was blatantly staring at her ass with a sleazy smile pointing at Josie to an uncomfortable friend.

She immediately felt herself tense up and her vision almost completely unfocused bar the lowlife mutt that had the impudence to look at something that wasn’t his. She felt herself do something between a growl and a bark before she even realized what was happening.

Then enjoyed watching him jolt upwards muttering sorry before running off with his tail between his legs.

It made her feel good until she got halfway through class and the embarrassment set in and she decided that it was a good thing she growled at him like an animal.

He was acting like an animal and she was just teaching him manners.

She was fine, it wasn’t just a good day, it was a good week. Overall in general.

Even though she missed a bunch of school she hadn’t fallen behind in any material and teachers were happy to excuse most of her missing coursework into essentially one general assignment.

Nobody was dead.

Other than the restlessness that she had been dealing with since her childhood, part of the curse of being a tribred she was fine.

She made it halfway through history in control, in a good mood, focused on good moments of the day, until someone had mentioned that the “Great Evil” was probably involved with Hitler too, and well she calmly left.

Seriously. 

Hope asked to be excused, packed her bags and left, deciding instead to wait until advanced spells.

Completely calm.

Completely in control.

No flashing eyes.

No bleeding magic.

She managed not to think about the person in the classroom. Not to think about her father. 

Just focused on an open book over a desk. Facing away from the window. Copying an image of phagocytosis, moving, but just a pencil and her hand. Thinking, but just about basic biology. 

Then Alyssa ran into her. She was literally standing by a desk, reading her textbook, and Alyssa walked straight into her.

Then had the audacity to claim that it was Hope’s fault.

Which normally Hope would let go with a nasty glare and rolling her eyes because Alyssa wasn’t worth the energy.

But Hope had a growing headache from the sunlight and she was already upset and itching for anything to get the magic out.

Which was how the two of them ended up in a standoff in the common area with shaking windows and exploding water bottles.

“Do you really want to start with me, because I’m in a real bad mood.” Hope let her eyes flash gold this time and flexed her fingers.

Alyssa’s eyes widened and she sucked some air in. Her smile grew tighter. 

The windows stopped rattling so hard and for the most part the room was stabilized beyond the uncomfortable amount of magic Hope was letting leak in the form of pressure towards Alyssa.

(Which was specifically against school rules but Hope was beyond caring at the moment.)

There was a crowd that was pretending not to watch them while watching them intently.

It looked like Alyssa was weighing her options and took a step back, so she was going to step down from the fight, “How about you just watch where you’re going next time.”

Hope wasn’t going to bother telling her it was her fault because Alyssa was no longer leaking magic and Hope wasn’t going to stop her from flipping her hair and walking away.

She may be angry and in a bad mood, but Alyssa was a bitch that was two years younger than her and a lot weaker, if Hope rose to that bait, it was Hope who would be in for an endless lecture.

Also Hope desperately needed a good day, and Alyssa backing down from a fight would honestly make it so she would no longer be lying about having a good day.

Alyssa may be a worthless bully that Hope couldn’t care less about, but even beating a bully is a win.

“Hope, stay right there we need to talk!” Landon called out.

No.

“C’mon man, don’t do this Landon.” She heard Raphael plead.

Hope didn’t turn around. Maybe Landon would listen to Raphael and leave. She didn’t think Landon was stupid enough to make a scene. She just stared straight ahead at Alyssa who had not flipped her hair and walked away, but instead looked like she just won the lottery.

“Hope you listen to me-” 

Nope, she was not doing this.

She twirled around and did two quick motions with her hands resulting in Landon dropping to his knees and crying out.

If she twisted her hand a little more she could break all of his ribs. If she pressed down, it would break his spine.

“How about you listen to me?” She told him, flipping her hand so he bent further forward, “You do not want to make me angry, and right now I am very angry. Now I’m going to let you go, and you’re going to run off and do whatever it is lying, stealing, bastards, like you do, and I’m going to go my separate way and our ways won’t intersect. Capiche?”

The thought went through her head to squeeze her hand so his arms came together until they broke, just to make her point.

She released him and he fell on his hands and groaned.

“Great!”

She tasted venom in her mouth and picked up her backpack purposely hitting the laughing Alyssa on her way out. 

Not a single person made eye contact with her.

It was better that way.

The school had lost most of its colors and the mahogany was looking a little more brownish and yellowish.

All she had to do was make it to the bathroom.

She bit her lip hard enough to taste copper. Hard enough for the pain to bring back focus.

If she could just make it to the bathroom she’ll be alone.

She practically sprinted when she finally turned the corner and saw the doors.

She just needs to be alone for a second and she'll get back under control.

She has too.

And when she finally made it to the bathroom practically falling unto the sink, looking into the mirror- her heart dropped.

Because a monster looked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be more hosie content in the next chapter, I actually had to cut this chapter in half, it was too long and the next half felt better as it's own chapter. Yeah sorry I know not very much is happening right now, although I'm going to be honest, I don't have much of a plan beyond the next 2 and half chapters, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. Anyway let me know what you think.


	4. Broken bathroom sinks and other messes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope maybe has to admit she had a problem, Josie realizes she made a mess.

There was something wrong with her.

Hope closed her eyes and counted her breaths, in ten seconds, out ten seconds, and repeat 10 times.

She gripped the edges of the sink a little too hard, hearing a crack in the porcelain, but she relaxed her grip with the next breath. 

When she opened her eyes she let out a relieved sigh to see the red and dark blue of her skirt. It meant she no longer had the bright yellow wolf eyes, but just in case she lifted her head to check in the mirror.

Blue, thank fuck.

It had to be the third time within a week she lost some of her very famous control.

Between trying to cause a tsunami in the lake, blowing up the locker rooms, and now nearly ripping the throat out of some horny young werewolf just because he stared at Josie’s ass too long, she can recognize that she may be having some tiny control issues.

She wasn’t sure if she rated the Landon situation as a reasonable reaction or not. There was too much to consider in the build up to it and she didn’t have the mental energy to parse through the pieces.

Fuck, she can’t believe she’ll have to apologize to Jed for literally growling at one of his wolves.

Once the vibrating inside of her calms enough that her hands aren’t shaking. Then she’ll go apologize.

No use risking  _ another _ incident.

At this rate people will start to notice, and by people she means Dr. Saltzman.

At least the incidents immediately after Malivore made sense.

Like when she just got out. After she had seen Landon and Josie together and nearly leveled half the forest.

To be fair that happened under huge emotional duress.

Or blowing up a 200 year old vase at the compound when Uncle Kol suggested that she might be a monster like her father after all.

It was real rich coming from her Uncle who had been the cause of many monster myths and stories because of his uncontrollable blood lust and complete lack of interest in moderation in all forms.

But now? Today? There was nothing stressful.

Well other than Landon who brought the kill instinct right out of her, Alyssa’s new brand of bitchiness, Raph’s guilty awkwardness, Josie’s new brand of weirdness and the fact that everything managed to change in her absence.

Other than that, everything was completely stress-free and normal in the Salvatore School.

She just didn’t understand why Josie was running so hot and cold with her. One second they were joking and it seemed like Josie wanted to be her friend, the next it was almost as though she had killed Josie’s pet bunny, and Josie was downright cold, then it would seem as though she changed her mind about her anger and just ran.

Which was actually a new aspect of their relationship. In all the years where Josie may have hated her, at least she never ran.

It never felt like she couldn’t stand Hope’s presence.

And this new  _ thing _ kinda hurt.

She could handle the cold shoulder, the anger, even if she wasn’t sure why. She had been taking it for years from both twins for both reasons deserving and undeserving. But the running, she didn’t like.

Things have somehow managed to get more awkward after the arachnid situation rather than less and she had a few theories but at the same time she wasn’t sure and wished they were close enough where she could just corner Josie in the hall and ask, what did I do? How can I make it better? How can we be friends?

Josie smiled at her today though. 

But again, hot and cold, so who knows?

At least Landon has been dealt with. 

And not in the there-is-no-body-left-to-find way.

Although she almost did.

Which was sucky in it’s own way because as she explained to Emma, she doesn’t hate him. She may be angry, but consciously she doesn’t want to hurt him. But she also didn’t want to hear his apologies or excuses because no matter what they were, she didn’t have it in her to forgive him.

She just didn’t have the energy for it.

Or him.

She just didn’t want to be friends.

All she wanted to do was protect the school, her family, Josie’s family.

But somehow, it seems she screwed up anyway.

With Josie, her family, the school, Landon. 

Landon was alive.

That was still a win.

A small win. But a win.

Was her bar really that low now?

She  _ might _ have to admit she had a problem.

To herself at least.

She wanted to laugh. Or cry.

Or rip the sink out the wall and tear every single person's throat out in this school for making her feel this way.

She slammed her fist on the sink. There was a crack but she was more focused on the claws digging into her palms, the world losing focus, and the blood trailing from her palms being yellow.

Deep breaths.

1

2

3

4…

“Are you alright?” She felt the warmth of someone’s hand on her back. The up, down, motion was actually helping her relax more than the breathing.

So was the nice smell of mint, lavender, earth and magic, entwined with a particularly familiar calming scent and the scent of care, concern, fear, and maybe affection? 

Hope let out a sigh, “I’m ok, perfectly fine.” She carefully opened her eyes noticing the world in complete focus and color and met the eyes of… Josie?

Who was giving her an odd look, “Are you sure?”

Of course it was Josie. There were very few people who would actually touch her, especially if she looked out of control. 

The perks of being a tribred and years of isolating herself, no one wanted to cross her path. 

Josie had stopped rubbing her back and took a few steps back, but at the same time her hand was hovering in the air as though she wanted to reach out or comfort Hope.

It was then Hope realized she hadn’t answered.

She may be calm now, but the incessant buzzing under her skin hadn’t stopped. 

Fighting a Malivore monster turned out to be a very limited short term solution to the exponential increase to the restlessness she has been feeling recently.

“Yeah, just needed a moment,” Hope forced a smile and straightened herself out, “It’s been a long week you know?” she added as casually as she could.

Which seemed to do the trick because Josie gave her a thin lipped smile and pulled her bag back up to her shoulder.

“Ok then,” She turned with an awkward wave slightly bumping into the wall on her way out, “I’ll see you in advanced spells.”

And just left.

“Yeah, great to see you, see you then,” Hope said to the empty air. 

At least Josie cares.

But she didn’t doubt that Josie cared. The question was why was Josie avoiding her.

Was it the Landon situation?

Glancing at the destruction she caused to the sink, she decided to get moving herself and started making her way down the hallway to find where her History course was being held. 

It was just stress. It had to be. She’ll find time to wolf out later.

\---

She did not find time to wolf out later.

“Absolutely not.” Dr. Saltzman said, “I’m sorry, I know you’re on edge, but with the flag football game coming up and the extra eyes on us due to Dana’s and Connor’s death I can’t risk you running into an officer looking for rabid mountain lions, or some kids trying to graffiti the place.”

What he meant was he couldn’t risk her accidentally mauling or killing, but Hope was happy they were going to pretend it was just the locals meeting an extra large unfriendly wolf was what he was worried about

“I’m sorry, really.”

She tried her best not to slam the door when exiting. His points were valid.

But so were her frustrations.

It also wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know that there was a new and greater risk of her blowing up from all the vibrating magic energy beneath her skin and mauling or killing one of the students in the school. There had always been a bit of a risk with her, especially since she became a wolf, which is why she had special permission to run around and wolf out, but her impeccable control made it just so the faculty kept an extra eye on her and provided accommodations. She had no idea what they would do if they found out she was having a _little_ _bit_ of trouble with it. 

So she found someone who could handle her instead.

Or mostly handle her.

In a way she was lucky that Raph was loyal and had a conscience. If he hadn’t been feeling so guilty she was sure that instead of trading punches with her, he would have told her he couldn’t, not because he didn’t want to be her friend, but because Landon was his brother and all of that.

Throwing a feint with a left hook, she quickly adjusted to a round kick at his head.

He dodged.

He’s improved.

But she was better.

Knowing he would go for the hit the moment she landed she brought her body low, getting hit right behind her shoulder, but tense and low enough that she barely felt it. Also in position for a tackle.

Which was how they both ended up grappling on the ground, first seriously fighting for dominance, then more playfully letting it fall apart into giggles.

It was their fourth round and they were both tired.

“Yeah, Imma,” he laughed below her, “I’m gonna tap out. You win again.”

She rolled over and laughed. 

Their first round was terribly messy, werewolf aggression and uncontrolled anger over current and past events turned it into more of a brawl. 

Shining yellow eyes came out, growling, insults, bringing up past grievances, and some fairly ridiculous posturing from both of them. 

She won. But it wasn’t really a testament to her skill as a fighter.

The next match was more of an apology on her end and Raph showing off some new skills, a more polished fighting style, while she went on the defensive and watched what he could do. He managed to get her pinned, fair and square.

Third round, it was a proper spar, she won.

This round was all fun. 

She was having fun. Both of them had accidentally torn their T’s in the first round. She was sweating like a pig and Raph looked like he had just jumped in a pool. Her hair was going to be a nightmare to fix later.

But for the first time in a while she feels like she has a friend.

Also it provided some much needed release.

“Good thing I’m not the alpha anymore,” he looked over at her still breathing hard, “I would have no idea how to explain this to the pack. She’s just casually whooping my ass, barely breaking a sweat, but I’m the Alpha.”

Hope exploded into another round of giggles.

“How is Jed the alpha with you around Hope?” Raph pushed himself up and looked down at her obviously trying hard not to smile and laugh, “I’m being serious.”

As she was putting the words together through giggles to explain that she and Jed had an understanding, and she actually had a pack, she finally noticed Josie standing at the edge of the mat with her arms crossed.

“Oh so you can forgive Raphael but not Landon” Josie asked. Completely out of the blue, no context, no hello. It was so shocking that Hope couldn’t stop another wave of giggles that came with the fading adrenaline. 

She had to have been standing there for a while, at least from when they were still grappling otherwise they would have heard her enter.

Raph stopped laughing immediately and pushed himself up and pointed at the door, “You know I’m just going to hit the showers and go work on some homework.”

It took a minute for Hope’s last giggles to subside but when she did she pushed herself up and unamused asked, “What are you talking about?”

“Just that you’ve been dodging Landon for over a month, not even letting him explain, but Raphael,” she gestures towards the door he went through, “you spar with once and forgive him.”

From this angle Josie’s legs looked really nice. It was an odd thing to think about. But this entire conversation was really odd, and seemed to come out of nowhere and adrenaline was still pumping through her system, so she added that thought to the relevant thoughts for this conversation including:

Why were they talking about Landon?

She was going to kill Landon.

How did Josie find her?

She desperately needed a shower.

Did she have to worry about Lizzie’s spies, Josie’s spies, Penelope’s spies, or someone new?

Poor Raph, he’s stuck in the middle of everything.

But she also is enjoying watching him suffer, just a little.

Was Josie aware that Landon confronted her today?

She could go for a steak, or even some ice cream, or a milkshake.

Why is Josie bringing this up?

And

“Why do you even care? How is this your business?” seemed the most pertinent because honestly Hope had no idea what was happening so she went on the defensive.

That seemed to give Josie pause where she sputtered for a second and crossed her hands again, “Landon is my friend and-”

If Josie was going for intimidating, she was failing. She was too cute to pull it off.

Hope on the other hand had plenty of practice, and she pushed herself up to stand.

“And what? His feelings are hurt because I won’t let him talk and give him another chance to apologize so I can forgive him and move on. Because he’s your boyfriend and you need to fix things you’re trying to make things better. News flash Josie, I’m not required to forgive, or even talk to him, or even let him apologize, the fact that he’s pushing it means it’s all for him and not really for me,” she softened immediately because she couldn’t sustain yelling at Josie and already felt terrible.

Especially when she saw Josie curl into herself. 

Her crossed arms seemed to raise higher with every word and her head dropped just a little lower. By the end of Hope’s rant it almost looked like she was trying to hide in her own arms.

She was as bad as her dad. What kind of monster did that?

She stood up and slowly walked towards Josie, as though she was approaching a wild animal, pulling off her gloves, “I’m really sorry Jo, I didn’t mean to yell. I’ve been feeling on edge all week.” She tried explaining, “Malivore took a lot out of me and it’s been…”

Hope trailed off when she realized Josie was crying. She sucked in a breath, “Jo…”

Josie took a step back and brought her head up, “Then why did you jump in? Then why did you jump into the stupid pit and abandon us? Do you know how it feels to have someone erased from your life? The hole it leaves? Why didn’t you come back once you came out? Were you happy to be forgotten, to abandon us?”

Her eyes were shining with tears, and her tone was pleading, although Hope was sure that wasn’t what she was going for.

Did Josie think she jumped on purpose?

“Or course not,” she answered in a soft tone, standing directly in front of Josie. She took Josie’s face in the palm of her hands, “I was trying to save your dad, it was in the middle of a fight and I was just trying to make sure your dad wouldn’t fall in the pit. Trust me.” She said, “It would’ve been a million times worse if it was your dad. But I didn’t do it on purpose and afterwards,” how does she explain the sense of rage, the hollowness? She bit her lip and exhaled a small laugh, “I was feeling a bit lost, it wasn’t my best moment,” She carded her fingers through Josie’s hair trying to make sense of her anger, “Is that what this is about, is that what you thought?”

Josie nodded into her hand.

“Oh Jo,” she pulled Jo into her arms where Josie quietly sobbed. 

Gently guiding Josie down on the mat so they would be more comfortable, she rubbed the shaking girls back, trying not to notice the scent of sadness and anger and instead focus on giving comfort, on how soft Josie was and soothing Josie as best as she could. 

It hurt to see Josie in pain, but it was nice to hold her in her arms, because at least here Hope knew she was safe and would be ok.

After a while it was just Josie leaning her head on Hope’s shoulder and the two of the sitting in a comfortable silence.

“Hope?”

“Mhmm.”

Josie hesitated and removed her head from Hope’s shoulder. She closed her eyes like she was working something up and put some more distance between them.

“I don’t,” she started, but then she changed her mind, “I can’t go through another Lizzie/Penelope situation. Both you and Landon are really important to me. You don’t have to forgive him, but can you just try to get along?”

It wasn’t an unreasonable request. But even after her fight with Raphael, she could still feel the buzzing under her skin. 

It was like she was seven all over again. When magic felt like this uncontrollable force that dictated her instead of she it. Except now she was a bloodthirsty werewolf and she didn’t have a bracelet to help her. 

It hurt.

It hurt because she really, really wanted to be Josie’s friend.

But then there are the things she wants and the right thing and every time she chooses to be selfish she ends up losing it all anyway.

So she stood up and kissed Josie’s hair, “I’m really sorry. I’m always here for you, ok?”

She searched Josie’s eyes and saw she understood, but left before the heartbreak set in.

For both of them.

\---

Most recommendations Josie could find about cleaning paintings was to take it to a professional. But Josie wasn’t sure how she would explain the charge to her parents, or the painting to anyone. The only other professional she knew when it came to art was Hope.

_ I’m really sorry. I’m always here for you, ok? _

She couldn’t ask Hope, not about this.

Today Josie had put Hope on the spot. Made Hope choose. 

_I’m really sorry._

Hope had the right to her feelings, Josie knew this.

Besides handling messes was her thing and dabbing away at the mud and dirt was meditative. Instant gratification. 

Unlike the mess that was currently her life, this one she felt like she could something about and was actually making progress in.

She also didn’t create this mess. Which was a plus in distracting her.

Rumours travel around the school at the speed of light, how did she not know what Landon did when she went to confront Hope. 

She doesn’t blame Hope. 

_I’m really sorry. I’m always here for you, ok?_

How can she blame Hope? Her heart was shattered but she had done that too herself.

She actually wants to find Hope, take it all back, ask for forgiveness. Actually she wants to start the conversation over again, from the beginning. To end up crying in Hope’s arms again, but this time finish with ice cream and a movie night. 

On the other hand, Landon was her friend, is her friend, and he was there for her, and he was just so normal, and it was nice. He was a relaxing friend to have, non-judgmental, dorky, nerdy, he was a milder version of MG, less dangerous, less intense, more relaxing, and they had a no stakes relationship. It was like a breath of fresh air compared to her constant interactions with Lizzie, Penelope, Kaleb, Alyssa, and Jed, even Raph. Supernaturals tended to be intense, and he just wasn’t.

_ Please, the two of you had been flirting for weeks, either dump him or bag him. I would dump him, but I have taste. _

For once Lizzie was right (not about the taste part), it was actually unfair that Lizzie was the twin that had everything together and her head on straight in this situation. 

Hope came back and Lizzie had taken it in a stride, no meltdowns, no existential crises, no sulking, not even headed on the opposite end of the spectrum of euphoria and excitement. In fact she handled it better than almost everyone involved and even seemed to handle Hope a little better now than before she had jumped into Malivore.

So this time Josie decided to be the twin that avoided her problems.

It was unreasonable to ask for both of them to be on top of things.

Apparently it was her turn to be the mess.

She couldn’t go through all the biting comments and looks, careful seating arrangements and invitations, time blocks and sneaking around the way she did with Penelope and Lizzie. Except this time with Hope, Landon, and Lizzie. 

So instead she cleaned. Dabbing a q-tip dipped in a lemon juice water compound, carefully wiping with a clean white cloth.

The puzzle of the painting was coming together. Instead of focusing on her own life she let herself get bewitched by the soulful eyes of the werewolf and wondered about theirs instead. 

She wanted to know who or what those mesmerizing eyes belonged to. 

They were a light blue with a grey tone to them, it reminded her a bit of looking at the shallow water off the dock in a beach in Italy. Not just the color, but the same calm feeling and the mesmerizing need to stare.

If there had been golden lava that was slowly spreading into the water.

The eyes had a mix of gold in them, not flecks or a ring, as though the gold was overtaking the blue. It was a darker and richer color than what she saw on most werewolves. 

But then she had never seen a fully formed werewolf, or even truly intentional flashing of eyes, at least not like the vamps like to do it, just quick angry yellow rings overtaking a person’s normal colors. Werewolves had far less control over their abilities unless they were hybrids or Hope.

Hope had perfect control. Always. Josie had never even seen her eyes flash gold.

But still, she wanted to say it was a werewolf, or a wolf in the painting. 

There was what seemed to be, white fur, and lots of red that looked to maybe be blood, and she thought there might even be white skin painted. But she couldn’t say for sure because the dirt seemed to be attached through magic.

Or not. Again she couldn’t say. She had cleaned the painting with a clean, dry, rag very carefully because she had no clue how to not damage paint with water, chemicals, or magic. The q-tip came in later to carefully remove the more lodged in dirt.

But she still had a long way to go.

Especially since it was hard to tell where the dirt was part of the image and color, and where it needed to be cleaned.

It was like putting together a puzzle where you don’t have the image and don’t know where the rest of the pieces are.

But Josie could be patient. She could discover the painting piece by piece, she just hoped the story came with it. She didn’t know much about art, but wondered what she could learn that would help her metaphorically put the name to the face.

She was just curious, that’s all.

She just wanted to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm into biology, so whenever someone writes, "gold leaking into her vision" as a way to say her eyes turned gold or yellow, I lose just a little bit of my mind. Because you see through your pupils which cannot 'see' the iris, on the other hand I'm all for werewolves knowing that eyes have changed color, and I've thought about it and realized wouldn't it make sense for them to see like wolves? Dogs (and so I'm going to assume wolves by extension although we know less about them) are red/green colorblind, and also have worse vision then us, in the sense they can't make out details (the world is blurry to them), but they can make out movement much better and much faster than we can. Which is why Hope looks for things she knows are red or green, or checks if she can make out details. Another small note, in this fic she had spent more time in Malivore and had fell into Malivore earlier, so her relationship with the twins isn't as good (or specifically with Lizzie) as it was during season 2 of the show. I will be bringing up exactly how it happened later, probably. Anyway, other than that, let me know what you think, what you like what you don't like or just any random thoughts!


	5. Just use your teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope is not as ok as she thinks she is, and people have noticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I disappeared. I had gotten a tutoring job, and exams, and interviews for part-time work and had gotten a little overwhelmed.

Sometimes, Hope had learned tackling something to the ground and literally tearing it’s throat out with her teeth was the way to go.

Not that she had any real coherent thoughts or strategies while she was tearing this new monster’s throat out.

Honestly for all she knew it could be poisonous.

The coppery taste was too salty and ashy to be normal human or werewolf blood, and it even stung her mouth, so definitely not vamp blood or anything else she tasted. 

Not that she even thought the horned menace that looked like a cross between if someone decided to turn a deer into a multi-eyed predator and breed it with a disfigured person would have humensque blood.

Her vision slowly came back to focus, turning the beast's green-yellow blood to an orange-red.

Hope tried to place the point in time when her eyes turned yellow and her canines and claws came out, possibly at the same point she lunged at the monster.

Probably when it scratched at the wound she had at her stomach from the previous monster and she finally lost her temper that it wouldn’t burn and apparently it had no brains she could blow up. 

At least now she was certain it came from Malivore, activating her werewolf senses as a human dulled her vision on colors and details, but brought the rest of the world to life through all her other senses and instincts even beyond what vampires can do.

And Malivore had a very specific scent. She just wondered what it was doing after two werewolf kids in Virginia.

She heard Dr. Saltzman burst through the door, “I got it…”

He stood there, staring at her. His navy shirt was looking a little purple and the blood on it was looking more yellow than red so she knew her eyes were still glowing yellow without her permission even though her teeth and claws had retracted.

The blood dripping from her mouth probably didn’t help.

The only excuse she could think of was “I thought it would be easier to fight it with my claws.” 

Which she knew was BS, he knew was BS, and if the raised eyebrow paired with Dr. Saltzman’s teeth grinding were to go by, her Aunt Freya was about to know was BS as well.

\-------

She was doing ok for almost two weeks. Everything was _under control_.

Or at least if it wasn’t, she didn’t notice.

Another monster had attacked the school, it involved a plot from the necromancer, Alyssa, and Josie.

So much had happened she hadn’t even had time to worry about not being friends with Josie or slipping because _Josie was in danger_.

It didn’t matter if they were friends or not, if Josie needed help, then Hope came.

Hell, if Lizzie needed serious help, she would come running, especially after now. She and Lizzie managed to bond, while something between Josie and Lizzie broke.

But from the looks of it, that something needed breaking.

But she wasn’t sure once things went back to normal she could handle another rejection from Josie.

So in a true Hope fashion, she jumped on a good old fashioned recruiting mission.

Well with some Malivore monster sprinkled in of course.

Apparently there was a pair of siblings, the eldest was the first in generations to activate her curse, it happened accidentally while trying to escape the monster, and the parents weren’t equipped to handle a fully blown werewolf even if one was a werewolf themselves.

(“We knew it might happen, but we honestly didn’t expect it.” “I’m supposed to be a werewolf, but I don’t even know how much of the legend is true, in fact the family curse was more and more a fantastic legend, my grandmother was unsure, my father barely believed it, we always thought it was superstition.”)

They didn’t have a pack and the youngest had behavioral problems the school was better equipped to handle.

She had no idea at what point during the hunt after she split from Dr. Saltzman did she start to go more wolf. Maybe it was during the fight with the monster, maybe before.

Most of the day was a blur.

It was bad, not having a clue how she got from place to another, or how exactly she fought the monster at times, but honestly explaining that to Dr. Saltzman and Freya sounded so much worse.

\--------

At least the yammering of the new recruit in the back was doing wonders for awkward silence between her and Dr. Saltzman. Also great white noise to drone out the panic about the phone call Freya was requesting of her.

Or well ordering really.

The text said, “Please call me when you get back to school.”

Hope knew the ‘please’ was there for show.

“Will we learn to partially turn at will like Hope did?” Sara? Selina? Asked from the back. Her brother who was silently brooding through the window perked up.

For the first time on the entire trip Dr. Saltzman looked over at her with a pleading look in his eyes, she decided to take pity on him.

He had been fielding questions for over two hours not to mention the conversation he had with the entire family while she borrowed their shower.

“No, that’s something only hybrids and members of the Crescent wolf pack are able to do,” she heard an aww from the back, “And as far as I know you’re the only one who triggered the curse. If you haven’t triggered the curse you can’t shift at all.”

Someone slumped and slid into their seat, she assumes it was the brother, Brad, Ben, Chad, Brat? Whatever Dr. Saltzman would introduce them soon anyway as they were pulling up to the school and Lizzie and Josie dutifully stood by the entrance.

The new recruits jumped out of the car, but Dr. Saltzman grabbed her hand before she got out. 

“Did you text your Aunt?”

“Yes, and now I’m going to have to take a phone call where she yells at me. Thanks.” She said sarcastically.

His expression softened and he let go of her, “We’re just worried about you, we care Hope, especially after…”

He trailed off.

The fight left her. 

She knew. Especially after she jumped into Malivore and he and her entire family spent months trying to figure out who the girl they had forgotten was. 

There was also guilt because they didn’t pull her out of Malivore (at the time there was no Malivore left to pull her out of) and when she came back her and her Aunt Freya and Davina couldn’t retrieve the memories until the trick Josie did with the samurai sword finally gave them the proper hint. 

Although she has told them repeatedly, they very much facilitated her exit, Malivore didn’t want her there, but it wouldn’t have expunged her without whatever they had been doing.

Although Kol didn’t feel guilty at all, “You went and threw yourself into a mess and then got yourself out of it, not very Mikaelson of you, but I approve.”

There was also the fact that all the adults were silently concerned about her behaviour since Malivore. They had no idea how bad it had gotten. But some of the more physical symptoms of light and noise sensitivity had been a lot worse the first few weeks after Malivore before plateauing and everyone noticed her squinting and avoiding the once loved sounds of New Orleans.

Just no one brought it up yet.

Yet being the keyword when she kept in mind the upcoming phone call.

But she also understood where Alaric was coming from, “I know.”

With that they left the car to hear the tail end of the introductions from Lizzie and Josie. Oddly the brother seemed engaged in the conversation, and now the sister seemed bored until she noticed Hope awkwardly standing there.

Avoiding her phone call.

The twins turned to Hope and Dr. Saltzman at the same time to say hello but while Lizzie said “Hi dad, hey Hope.”

Josie just asked, “Hope?” with a small frown.

Dr. Saltzman slammed the door pulling his bag out.

“Hey girls, Lizzie do you mind doing the tour on your own? I need to drop by the office and I was hoping that Josie can help Hope.”

“Of course.” Lizzie turned and started prattling off her welcome speech and siblings trailed uncomfortable behind her while Samantha, Selene, kept glancing back at her.

But Hope was more focused on the feeling of Josie hands suddenly on her stomach, “Did you get hurt? Are you ok?”

Hope froze surprised at the sudden contact. It didn’t help that Josie started lifting her shirt, presumably to check her wound, but honestly Hope was having a hard time thinking and just grabbed Josie’s hands out of reflex and held them in place and pinned Josie with a stare that made the girl falter.

Immediately feeling bad.

Dr. Saltzman cleared his throat, “Josie please make sure Hope goes to the infirmary and make sure she cleans and wraps her wounds.”

All this trouble because of some blood on her shirt. She’ll heal.

She heals fast.

He gives her a look, she looks back, he gives her the same sad and soft look he had given her in the car and she falters, “Fine,” she but glances Josie, “But I don’t need Josie to babysit, I know she’s busy and has homework.”

Dr. Saltzman nods and looks like he’s going to agree but Josie interjects.

“I already did my homework in preparation for giving the tour and obviously I’m going to help Hope.”

He gave her a look that said it is what it is and left.

Josie grabbed her hand and pulled her into the infirmary. 

\---

She was not going to let Hope run away.

Josie pushed Hope down onto the chair a little forcefully, pulled her shirt up over her head a little quickly, and wrapped the bandages on the mostly healed wound a little tightly. 

Hope was silent the entire time.

Josie felt Hope’s eye’s on her while she worked, but the silence in the room weighed heavily. 

There was really nothing left to do, but Josie kept her hands on Hope’s stomach, flattening the bandages. Hope was bouncing her knee, glancing at the door.

“Don’t run.” Josie said, “Please, I’m,” what? Sorry. I was wrong and desperately want you back in my life. Losing my mind. Because you’ve been avoiding me for two weeks and I rather have you in my life in Landon.

“It’s ok Josie.” Hope carefully took her hands.

“It’s not. I pushed you away, accused you of things, when I just wanted you in my life.” She wanted to pull her hands away so Hope could get angry at her. Once Hope was angry they could maybe move on.

Hope didn’t let her pull away.

“I’m willing to be in your life in whatever capacity you want me to be, I just can’t with,” Hope trailed off.

“That’s fine. I should have never should have said that to you.” If Hope couldn’t handle Landon, then she would hang out with Landon separately.

“It’s perfectly ok to have boundaries.”

“Not if they are pushing you away!” Josie wanted to cry. She missed Hope. Why was it that every time she had Hope in her grasp, she always let go? Not this time.

“Josie,” Hope’s arms went around her, “I’m right here, I haven’t gone anywhere.”

So why did it feel as though Hope was slipping away?

\-----

It was a white grey wolf, a werewolf, a she wolf, rising from a dark muddy pit, not rising, fighting, pulling it’s way out through the black mud, gunk, and blood. 

It was a messy painting. The paint was packed on in layers over the dark pit and the wolf. 

Which was odd since there was plenty of blank canvas left.

It felt as though the she wolf was trying to escape the painting, the canvas itself.

There was something obviously animalistic. Obviously raw, and at first glance, it looked almost heroic.

Mythical even.

Something greater than human, fighting the depths of hell, rising through with raw power.

But Josie also felt a deep sense of pain and fear looking at it. There was something about it’s not fully wolf, not fully human form. Something about the way it was fighting the mud and gunk.

After a while, it occurred to Josie that the person almost looked like they were drowning. In the wolf form, in the gunk, in the magic of it all.

A tragic hero.

And she had no idea what to do with it.

It wasn’t signed. It was obviously magical and supernatural. And Josie felt as though she was missing some very obvious piece to the puzzle. There was something nagging at her, as though she should already know.

It was annoying her so much she was almost ready to give in and ask Hope.

But she couldn’t.

Art was something intimate with Hope. Magic was something Hope freely spoke, ranted and argued about, but art, it was something Hope only spoke about in the most private moments. Other than a few paintings painted for the school, almost all her works were only shared with close friends and family. She even did her painting in more private settings.

So she couldn’t ask, not now, not when things with Hope were so fragile.

Hope assured her that she was ok, that she was right there. Even made a promise to hang out tomorrow after the new kids had barged in to “check on” Hope.

But it felt like Hope was slipping away. Most days it seemed like Hope was underwater. She was more unfocused during classes. The wolves were extra careful around her and even Alyssa wasn’t picking fights.

There wasn’t anything Hope was really doing. But Josie could feel it, something was going to go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had re-written this chapter 6 times, 6 separate drafts. Although some elements from earlier drafts I think I'm going to incorporate into the next chapter. But it was a nightmare to figure out how I wanted this chapter.
> 
> Also Bonnie has been shown to have premonitions and bad feelings about certain people, which turned out to be a witch thing, baby Hope had premonitions, and then there was an episode where Hope had saw dark Josie before it happened in a dream with a bunch of other foreshadowing. I feel as though, "I have a terrible feeling" it's not utilized enough at all by the shows. They seem to forget the witches have it. I get they probably don't get it all the time, but in meeting new and terrible people (such as Clarke/Vardemus) or Hope jumping into Malivore (I guess both Josie and Hope had it about Dark Josie/Necromancer stuff). Also there is a reason why Josie isn't connecting the dots, will explore.


	6. Maybe I can just pretend

“If you rather talk in private just tell me. I know you there are things you might not want to share with your headmaster.” Freya, or Freya’s image told her.

Dr. Saltzman, wisely, didn’t say anything, instead just grumpily leaned against the desk and picked at his nails.

Hope fought the temptation to roll her eyes.

“I was just a little stressed, and honestly, wanted to get my hands dirty, it’s been a while since I had a real fight.”

“We haven’t been training so much, I could find time in the mornings.” Dr. Saltzman jumped to offer.

She knew they were as much for him as for her.

So she gave him a “Maybe, but I know how busy you’ve been recently and don’t want to take away anytime.”

Freya looked up and sighed, and crossed her arms, “I get it, and I’m just.” she sighed again, “Call home more often would you. I love Keelin and Nik, but sometimes I want to talk magic and it’s just so easy to strangle Kol. And call your Aunt Bex and Marcel, they’re arguing again and it’s your turn, and,” she sighed again, "I can't wait until it's the holidays and you come back. It would seriously bring me peace of mind and I just miss you so much."

That made her smile, “Of course, I miss you too Aunt Freya. I'll try and call more.”

"Thank you Hope."

Freya gave a nod to Dr. Saltzman and faded out.

Hope turned to leave.

“You’d tell me if something is wrong.”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” She lied.

\----

When she first got out of Malivore, it was in the dark empty woods. 

It was she who had sought out other people and limited her interaction in order to handle the pain, and at the time didn’t think much in working in the cover of darkness beyond exactly the obvious of it, it was a good cover.

Being found by her Aunts, being taken back to the compound by her family, that was overwhelming. 

Again she didn’t take it beyond face value at the time.

Neither were her struggles with coming back to school when they got some help from the twins.

Now she is forced to reconsider.

For the first time since she left Malivore, she goes to see Clarke.

It wasn’t her first choice. More than once during her conversation with Dr. Saltzman and her Aunt yesterday she was forced to dig her nails into her palms to maintain control.

What was she going to tell them? I’ve been randomly losing control. No. She needed facts. Facts that she could get from a primary source on all things Malivore.

They’ve been keeping him locked in the largest transition space in the base, she was sure if he really wanted too, he could escape, but she guessed after 600 years you can learn a bit of patience.

He was already sitting up in his cell smiling at her, like an old friend when she stopped at his bars.

To her surprise he didn’t look any worse than the last time she saw him. He was lacking his suit but he didn’t need shaving nor looked dirty and disheveled, just bored.

She felt no need to make any expression. They had been trapped together for 5 months, he won’t be intimidated by the look on her face, it would be her words and actions that do it.

“Hope, I’ve missed you.” He told her.

“I really can’t say the same.” she replied without the slightest hint of apology.

He seemed unaffected, only smiled brighter, “But you’re here now, and god do I need the company. Dorian and Rick are at least smart and interesting but they rarely visit and are always a little intense, as though I haven’t given them exactly what they asked for,” he leaned back against the cell, “Oddly Landon likes to come and visit, I honestly can’t say I see what my father sees in him, but it does break the monotony. I’m glad you came.”

“Landon comes to visit?” She asked.

“Yeah, he is curious about his father, and me by extension.”

“That seems like a bad idea,” She leaned against the bars.

“Wow. No faith in your own friends. Besides, your family has all sorts of monsters and no one ever stopped you from learning about them,” He mirrored her stance.

She didn’t bother correcting him on either point and just raised a bored eyebrow at him.

“Doesn’t matter. What matters is you're here now. Some good, real, company, did you bring me any books by any chance?” He clapped his hands together.

“Don’t get excited, I just want to know what Malivore did to me.”

He raised his eyebrow, “You’re going to need to be a little more specific.”

Her patience was running thin. Seeing him was making her feel restless, wanting to check over her shoulder every few seconds.

“The light sensitivity, the constant energy, the aggression,” she pushed against the bars accidentally working herself up, “I’m losing control. What sort of magic does malivore have over me?”

Ryan just stared at her for a few seconds and laughed.

She hit the bars again, he flinched but didn’t lose the incredulous look, “Seriously Hope?”

This time she let the anger flow and her eyes turn color, let the growl escape from her throat and the magic seep through the room.

She was going to make her problems his.

He stepped back losing the grin, “Relax. Nothing is truly meant to escape Malivore. And it wasn’t meant for witches, vampires, or werewolves either,” he brought his hands behind his back, “I think therefore I am. I can think, and the monsters you met obviously can too. Although the complexity of our thoughts differ.”

Jesus Christ.

“Get to the point.”

“You’re experiencing a psychological problem, not a magical one.” He told her.

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

He had to be lying.

“Hope, you can’t just say no and make a problem go away.” He looked incredulous.

“Well I disagree, it can’t be a psychological problem.” She explained to him. Magic problems generally were solved with magic.

He approached her slowly, “Shouldn’t this be good news, Malivore isn’t screwing with your mind. Monsters aren’t in your head. The problem is just you.”

“I can punch monsters. I can purge Malivore from my mind, and ultimately I can kill him. What am I supposed to do with this, extra therapy?” She blew him back on the word therapy.

He took a minute to collect himself off the floor on the other side of the cell, “I don’t know. If that’s what keeps you from blowing me up, then yeah. Sorry you can’t just punch away, or magic away the problem, but that’s how it is sometimes Hope, some things are just deep cuts that need to heal,” he looked her up and down, “Not that you have much experience with that but let me explain, when you get stabbed, you take a few weeks off to heal, and sometimes on rainy days, you still feel the wound, or when you bend wrong. Your mind is supernatural, in the sense that being a vampire, witch, and werewolf shields you from many magical ailments, but in another way, it is still a human mind that takes time to heal. You're not as monstrous as you think,” He looked down at his messed up clothes, “At least yet.”

Not monster enough.

She wanted to scoff at him. To scream at him. She wanted to blow up everything in each of the cells.

Instead she told him, “I’ll see if Dorian and Dr. Saltzman will bring some old books to translate. Maybe you can do something useful” and casually walked up the stairs. Never giving him the satisfaction of looking back.

\----

It was a quarter past two, and Josie had maybe 25 minutes until she was supposed to meet with Hope.

She had finished her homework and since Lizzie was still in the room she had decided to wander the Halls of Salvatore while she waited.

For the first time, Josie really looked at the paintings that decorated the hallways of the school. 

Quite a few of them were from the old Salvatore’s, classic old American countryside scenes, quite a few of Confederate soldiers, a few Union soldiers, and something by a J.M.W. Turner that Damien had been proud of (neither Josie nor Lizzie knew or cared much for art, they mostly were into literature and history because of their father’s influence and theatre due to their mom’s), she knew every single painting that belonged initially to the Salvatore collection.

She even knew some of the history behind the people featured in the bigger more prominent paintings. It was a question asked commonly on tours. 

If you were in a large portrait people assumed you were important.

But then there was also the collection of paintings that she never paid much attention to. It wasn’t something that was asked about during tours as they were hung in the newer building where the student dorms, labs, and gymnasium were and by that point kids usually were more interested in their studies, students, and the more practical points of living on campus. 

Her mother had once admitted that Niklaus Mikaelson donated quite a few paintings, a few of his own and some from what he had collected over the years. 

Those were often shown off by her mom to prospective parents, something Josie and Lizzie didn’t get involved in because apparently it was a sore point with their father as well as a selling point to many richer parents.

A few were from Damien Salvatore, Elena wasn’t much for art, but Damien had a taste for the finer things in life and wanted to be connected to the school. 

There were even a few that Hope painted.

She knew one of the paintings that Hope painted. Back from when she had a crush on Hope. She had watched Hope paint it. Which was admittedly a little stalkerish because Hope had no idea Josie was watching. 

It was a beautiful landscape of the school, except the main building looked like some of the older more original photos she had seen of it yet, it still had the new buildings that were painted in the same architectural style.

Overall it somehow looked more magical. Felt magical too.

There were some children playing in the courtyard, if you looked closely you could tell there was two wolves, a witch, with a teenage vampire, watching them, but they were painted fairly small and not the focus, just part of the background, although in front of the building. She only noticed because of her embarrassing crush on Hope. 

But now she felt like she should look at the paintings.

If you took a few steps back, the painting almost looked like a photo.

Except a photo only captured a second, the moment in time, Hope’s painting captured the overall feel of Salvatore. 

It was an warm and bright painting, with a homey feel to it. But it also felt sad, and if Josie had to choose a word, isolated, the way the building sat alone in the woods, the group of children playing by themselves with no one else in view, and maybe around the edges of it, there was something else, something darker at play.

It was a complex painting.

But very traditional, and fit very well with the overall style of Salvatore’s initial collection. It was why the painting was hung at the very front of the building near her father’s office. 

Not only was it a fantastic work of art for the school of the school within the style of the rest of paintings in the school, but it was also a selling point as it was done while Hope was in the art program.

Although she knew Hope just painted that way. Hyper realistic, like a camera that was cursed to capture the soul of the person and objects as well the scene.

Lizzie had described it that way once after a particularly bitter art class where she couldn’t paint a butterfly, and Hope had sketched the entire class including a proud, bitter and frustrated Lizzie, who somehow managed to also seem small and scared instead of painting. Hope had been sketching since she and the teacher were arguing all class.

He told her to be more free with her expression.

She told him this was the best form of expression.

Josie looked at the children in the painting and remembered how precisely Hope added every brush stroke, how carefully she mixed all her colors beforehand.

She couldn’t imagine Hope painting anything like the werewolf she had. With the wild and messy energy.

It seemed to juxtapose everything Hope had stood for regarding art. 

Although to be fair, Josie didn’t know that much about Hope’s affair with art, just small things from when both she and Lizzie both still liked Hope and had followed Hope into the art classes their parents had set up.

(After a hefty contribution from the Mikaelsons. Although even after Hope stopped going to the classes and her parents stopped paying for the lessons, it turned out to be very helpful to the witches and a large selling point for the school.)

“I didn’t realize you enjoyed art.”

Josie jumped, slamming her hand against the wall getting ready to siphon, only to realize that it was Landon, relaxing she said, “You scared me.”

He walked up behind her, closer, practically pressed to her back, “Sorry, I came to warn you about a new monster on the loose, I’ve been helping Dorian research.”

She stepped forward to put some distance between them as subtly as possible.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“It doesn’t seem to be doing much other than causing people to lose their focus, we have yet to figure out a goal, but otherwise, it seems fairly harmless. So art?” Landon asked changing the subject.

Still, that didn’t sound good, and she was still worried. Things were rarely how they first seemed with the monsters.

“Oh, yes, it’s a more recent interest?” She asked him, then more confidently said, “I’m trying to figure something out and learn more about art, this is actually one of Hope’s paintings, I’m meeting up with Hope here.”

She thought the mention of Hope would scare him off a little.

Not that she wanted him scared. She just wasn’t sure how to handle Landon at the moment. Her sister was right, she needed to ‘dump him’ in the sense to make it clear they aren’t going to have a romantic relationship.

And she thought she had been doing that, while reinforcing that she still wanted to be his friend.

Although she didn’t like how he treated Hope, to be fair she had very little room to talk in that department, he was still fun, dorky, and silly but without constantly mooning over Lizzie, and had a good taste in music, and had that normalcy she enjoyed. He was a good addition to movie night, and occasionally was nice to just hang with. But also someone she didn’t see herself getting overly attached to, or care too much about. 

Josie was all about second chances, but he didn’t seem to be getting the hint that she had friendly feelings rather than romantic ones for him, and if it didn’t click soon, she would be avoiding him as well.

Everyone in the school had heard what Hope had did to him after he tried making a scene, and personally, if someone had done that to her and she had been unable to fight back she would stay miles away.

Apparently not Landon.

“Wow, Hope paints pretty well. Do you mind if I wait for her too? I should probably apologize.”

Pretty well?

Hope painted like a master. Hope didn’t create paintings, she created masterpieces.

Pretty well.

That was an insult.

No matter what his intentions were, he shouldn’t be here.

But instead she gave him a tight smile, “You do need to apologize what you did was wrong, but I really think waiting for her with me a bad idea. It's kinda of like jumping her again. She's not expecting you, she doesn't want to see you. She doesn't need to forgive you. Stop looking for forgiveness to clear your own conscious" the words came bursting out of her, the memories of conversation with Hope in the gym came back to her, "You should probably let her come to you, she’s been a little,” Josie paused, she didn’t want to tell Landon that Hope seemed off. I seemed like a secret.

Something that only people who truly knew Hope noticed.

Hope always presented herself as poised, unbreakable, and a little threatening, but Josie knew most of it was a front. She was almost entirely invincible, almost fully immortal, but there was that almost.

Telling Landon seemed as though she was betraying Hope.

On the other hand Landon might stupidly continue trying to speak to her.

Apparently she took to long, “A little what?”

Landon went to brush some hair away from her face.

That’s when Josie heard the floor squeak and something crack. She furrowed her brow and turned too look at the noise and saw gold eyes and auburn hair.

Hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like Landon, but I Landon is not ever intentionally cruel or mean, he's just a dumbass guy who legitimately does not know how to handle any situation. That's the only way I can explain it.
> 
> Anyway, I actually really liked Ryan Clarke as a character, I'm a little sad he was killed off, I though he would've made a good recurring frenemey for Hope. They've spent a lot of time together and understood each other pretty well, but had such different goals, I thought it would have been fun to see them fighting perfectly in sync in one scene then trying to kill each other the next. I think he could have came up with clever traps for Hope, while she should would have had to come up would clever solutions. Anyway, I love comments, let me know what you think, criticism, or just random thoughts.


	7. Attack, protect, it's confusing

Talking to Clarke was easy, they were stuck with each other, and only each for what felt like forever, and even the worst company was better than the endless silence and darkness.

Leaving Clarke was easy. Like Landon, she hasn’t quite forgiven him for his role in her hell and she was sick of him because they were stuck together for what felt like forever and they were enemies, even though there were no fights in the endless darkness, the wrongs they had both committed against each other were neither forgiven nor forgotten.

The trouble came after the conversation. She didn’t realize the emotional toll it would take to see him, to talk about Malivore with her captor all while trying to keep it together, and she wanted to scream and pass out all at the same time.

Not to mention the fact that he told her this was all in her head.

That she was becoming just as unhinged as her father.

She probably needed to just lock herself in her room and unwind. A few episodes of Cutthroat Kitchen while she sketched would go a long way.

No, she promised Josie.

But she had promised to Josie, and it wasn’t Josie’s fault she decided to speak with Clarke. 

She was so lost in thought that she accidentally bumped into someone. It was barely noticeable and the person left so little of an impression that their face was blurry in Hope’s mind the second after she told them, “Sorry,” and they mumbled and turned away.

In fact it just felt as though everything was blurry. Or maybe even foggy might be a better word.

Now she wishes she just told Josie something came up.

“Hope, look at me, please Hope focus on me.” Josie urged her.

Hope meant to lunge at Landon.

To rip his throat out.

Or tear his head off.

She wasn’t sure. She wasn’t really thinking. 

Couldn’t think.

But Josie jumped in front of her, and she grabbed Josie’s hands and pressed her up against the wall.

Somewhere in the back of her mind something was saying she needed to calm down. Stare at the ground.

But that part seemed so distant and faint and she can still smell Landon. His attraction to Josie. Josie’s discomfort.

Now Josie’s fear.

She was turning his head toward the direction of his scent.

“Please Hope, can you focus on me, just look up,” Josie pleaded, “Focus on my voice.”

Her attention went up and she noticed Josie was looking her in the eyes, “Thank you, please stay with me Hope,” she noticed Josie was showing her neck, a sign of submission, “I’m scared, I need you to stay with me.”

Josie was scared.

Josie needed protecting.

She needed to stay with Josie. Protect Josie.

Hope dragged her hands down and covered Josie’s body with her own, letting go of Josie’s arms, instead of holding her against the wall she was now shielding Josie with her body using the wall as support.

She was starting to feel more focused and buried her head in Josie’s neck to hide her face; her eyes and teeth.

She stood panting in a defensive position and felt Josie rub her back.

Up and down.

Gently at a regular pace.

Landon was entirely forgotten about. Hope realized she was acting ridiculous, yet was still far enough gone in her haze of adrenaline and instincts to nuzzle Josie’s neck.

“Sorry,” she whispered into Josie’s neck, “You didn’t have to submit.”

Because that was a big step, a huge intimate sign of trust, or a sign of complete defeat.

“Maybe I wanted to.” Josie’s heartbeat increased dramatically and she stopped rubbing Hope’s back and clutched at her shirt instead, “I meant I didn’t want to hurt you and I trusted you. That’s what I meant.”

For some reason that made Hope smile.

In smiling she accidentally opened her mouth on Josie’s neck, letting her fangs gently trail across the skin.

Really no harm, no foul, she would have barely noticed.

But Josie’s breath hitched.

Interesting. 

“Josie?”

“Hope?”

Hope just buried her head further. She didn’t know. Focusing was so hard and Josie was so soft and warm.

“Let’s get you somewhere more private,” Josie must’ve led her back to a room because next thing she knew she was being pushed on a bed as she pulled Josie with her.

“Hope?”

“Hmmm?” Hope replied gently moving Josie’s hair from her face.

“Are you,” Josie’s brow was wrinkled, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” she answered slowly, “Just peachy.”

Josie bit her bottom lip in her frown and raised her hands to Hope’s face. For a second things felt a little warm and then she felt the normal ebb of magic leave her that comes with siphoning as the world slowly came back into focus.

“The monster on the loose. It did something to you.”

“There is a monster on the loose,” Hope sat up feeling more alert. Why hadn’t anyone let her know? 

“Landon gave me a heads up,” Josie said with her hands still on Hope’s face.

That’s right, Josie was talking to Landon. Right before she had arrived and decided she was going to kill him, or was she protecting Josie? Her memories of the entire event were unclear especially near the beginning of it, just how it all felt. 

“It’s making people lose focus although it doesn’t explain why you were so aggressive,” Josie let her face go and pushed herself up so she was resting on her elbows, “Want to explain that?”

Hope closed her eyes, “Let’s handle it first.”

Josie opened her mouth, but any argument she had was cut off by the door suddenly swinging open, “Where have you guys been?” Lizzie shouted at them looking up, “There’s a monster on the loose, and it’s our duty to protect the poor, vulnerable students of this school.”

Kaleb who was standing behind her raised a brow but didn’t say anything.

She finally looked down at them and and took a step back giving them a disgusted look, “Oh my god, tell me you two weren’t having sex!”

“NO!” Josie yelled.

Hope just gave Lizzie a droll look. Lizzie seemed to recover.

“Then let’s move, a cloud of confusion has befallen the school and it’s our job to lift it,” Lizzie was already leaving the room. Kaleb shook his head but followed her anyway. 

Hope wondered where MG was, but was distracted by Josie grabbing her arm.

“This conversation isn’t done.”

Hope decided not to comment on that and just helped Josie off the bed, “Let’s go help before someone gets hurt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've picked up another job and school started up again, I didn't mean to put off this chapter for so long and I wanted to make it longer but then I thought it would take me another few weeks for the second part of it so I figured half a chapter is better than nothing. Oddly I thought it would be a faster chapter to write because I thought I knew exactly where I was going with it, then I realized I only knew how I wanted to start it. But Josie and Hope are getting there (and poor Landon, I'm overusing him as a plot device, my bad). I'm sorry again for the delay on the chapter, just a heads up, I don't have any way to watch the new season (no cable and I work at the time the episode comes out anyway) so I don't mind spoilers but keep in mind the story won't reflect anything new until things come out on netflix. I love your comments, it makes me feel as though people are actually reading this fic and it gets me excited to write, and I read them out to my family!


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